


Loving you was my greatest fault

by barribane



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2019-12-26 05:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18276380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barribane/pseuds/barribane
Summary: After hearing those words you just gave up. Nothing was going to make you fall for him ever again.





	1. Deception

"Man you're totally whipped for her" Nnoitra teased as he sipped his beer.  
"Whipped? For that fuck toy? Please Nnoi dont think so low of me" the blue haired man casually replied. 

The door to the workshop creaked ever so slightly going unnoticed by the occupants within. 

As you stepped back from having you ear pressed to the door, a rush of memories were flashing behind your tearful eyes. All those hours spent with his arm around you, soft kisses placed on your temple, were they all nothing? Didnt you meant anything more then just a slut to fuck? Apparently not. How stupid you felt for believing that you were more, that the both of you had something special. You nodded to yourself if thats all you were to him then so be it. 

You had been good friends in highschool belonging to the same group of friends but after everyone had gone to college you found yourself in the same dorm as him. So the both of you had begun to get closer spending time together studying, eating or just playing dumb video games. And as time passed you discovered that he had so much more to offer under his guise of being a tough guy. He could be funny, thoughtful and kind. Dont get it wrong he still had a sliver tongue and a devilish smile but through his actions of making the efforts to be there for you during your first breakup or fetching you to class you could see under his facade. Or so you thought.

Here they were 2 years later and hearing those words just brought everything crashing down.

"Huh makes sense now, hes never said i love you back....hahahahahah" you thought to yourself in the cab back home while furiously wiping away your tears. 

6 unread messages  
2 missed calls 

"Where you?"  
"Oi"  
"Reply me woman"  
"You said you were coming down where are you"  
" aye fuck you pick up"  
"Im heading back to your place you better open the door" 

A series of furious knocks woke you up from your fitful sleep on the couch. 

"Open the fucking door or im breaking in" 

"Shit shit shit why was he here?" You didnt want him to see how badly he could affect you. 

Fuck it. 

Creaking open the door you peeked out  
"Yeah? Whats up"  
"Whats up? What the fuck? You said you were coming down and you didnt come?  
You ignored my texts and my calls" 

You were no match for him barging through your front door  
Forced to let him in you just let your arms come towards you caging you in. 

"Look i just wasnt feeling well okay? I fell asleep what do you need" you said biting your lips and trying to stay out of the light. 

It didnt work. He slammed his hands on the light switch and turned to look at you raising his hand to presumably check your temperature. But seeing the state of your swollen eyes and still red face he stopped. 

"Hey babe whats going on? You okay? Why didnt you call me if you were feeling this bad" 

"Stop it."

He tilted his head confused, "stop?"  
"The heck are you on woman?" 

You had a mini conflict deciding whether or not you should just confront him 

"Stop acting like you care. Look im done with this. Im done being played by you. So just get out. I'll pack up everything and drop it at your place tomorrow"  
You started to try and push him to the door 

But his hands came up to rest on your arms  
"What the fucks going on? Played? Are you fucking high? Look just sit down aite cmon" 

"I HEARD YOU I HEARD EVERYTHING! Im just a fucktoy right? So just get the fuck out im done! Im done putting everything i have into this just to have you talk about me like that." 

You broke down sobbing dropping to your knees. 

"Shit you were there?"  
"Look listen hey its just guy talk ok cmon stop being so fucking over dramatic"


	2. Finality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like the title states

 The second the words left my mouth i knew i fucked up. Just seeing the way her eyes fell and started filling with tears made me want to take everything back. 

 

"Hey hey babe hang on lets just talk okay? Please I didn't mean that you know i didn't"

 

Taking small steps back you felt your heart crumble up again. You didn't want him to see you cry you hated anyone seeing how weak you actually were.

 

"Wh..what do you want to talk about? You've made things clear i get it. Its okay its my fault for thinking we had something more"

 

It hurt so much his words were just ringing in your head over and over again.

 

"Lets just sit down okay? I promise I didn't mean that "

 

He had really fucked up now hadn't he, why did he bother with shit talk like that hell he knew he loved you with everything he had. Ever since the first time he made your eyes shine and your lips curl and nose scrunch into that adorable smile he knew he was doomed to be yours. He knew he wasn't the best boyfriend never really making an effort to celebrate anniversaries or big events. But he thought you knew that he loved you he had said it before hadn't he?

 

As he saw you shaking in the middle of the hall he was remembering the first time you had told him you loved him. With a dumb bear he had won of a fair game in your hands and a goofy smile as you thanked him.

 

"Damn i really love you now"

"Yeah? Me or that bear huh?"

"Hmmmm maybe just a little less than this lil guy here"

 

He remembered taking your hand as the both of you continued down the stalls but he couldn't recall ever once saying it back.

 

"No we are more, this is more i promise"

"Hah is it? Is it really blue? Im sick of being the one making all the effort if it is. So please just go, go find someone thats fine with being a fuck when your in the mood. I want to be with someone that bothers replying my messages or just being with me for other than my body"

"I am not with you for your body how many times do you want me to fucking say it"

His blood was boiling hotter by the minute couldn't you see that he was doing his best?

"Aite you know what? Fuck you. You want out? Then fine im coming to get my stuff on Friday"

 

So this was it all you could do was nod as you tried to control your tears and whimpers. He wouldn't even bother fighting for you.

 

Seeing you waver like that made him stall for a moment but gathering his resolved he turned on his heel and slammed the door.

 

The ringing and finality of that door slam was like a reverb through your body. Walking shakily back to your room you just fell onto your bed and finally let your eyes come to a close for another fitful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blue is your nickname for grimmjow because i think thats hella cute   
> Im thinking he should call you doll because that also really cute but ill stick with babe for now


	3. Blast from the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old friend shows up brewing jealousy in blues heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long im really abit lost

His head was pounding his bones ached everything just hurt. Groaning he pushed himself off the bed reaching out of habit to touch her. Slowly grasping around he remembered. Sitting up and looking around he took a moment to breathe in the stale air. Drinking for a week straight was really taking its toll on him. Why couldn't he just set aside his pride for a second to tell her no show her what she meant to him.   
"I love you" three simple words he learnt way back in grade school and he couldn't say them. Look at where pride got him. 

"Hey, are you okay? How you holding up girl?"   
"Im over it i really am lets just move on okay? I rather just put this whole thing behind me"   
You said to your coworker as you packed up your things to move back to your place.   
You had decided to stay with her for a few days just to clear your head.   
"Hey you need to bring this box down to your boyfriends place right? Ill bring it down for you"   
"Are you sure? Its pretty heavy, ill bring it down another day"   
"Dont worry about it! I got it. Thanks alot for the past few days"   
Grunting you lifted up the box alone with your backpack and started making your way downstairs.   
Peering over the box was hard enough maybe you should have thought over it a little more.   
Suddenly you were stopped in your tracks as you turned on the street it felt like you had just hit a brick wall. The box fell along with you and you braced for the impact. But it didnt come?   
"You should be more careful princess"   
A deep timber voice whispered into your ear from behind.   
Princess? There was only one person who called you that   
"STARRK!!!!!!"   
You practically tripped over your own feet to hug him.   
"When did you get back? Why are you here? I missed you so much"   
Starrk was from your childhood circle but he had moved states for university a few years back. Seeing him infront of you was surreal. His hair was still a windswept mess and his lazy eyes hadn't changed abit   
"I finished school and i thought it would be good to come back for abit. Wheres G?"   
"O um w-we broke up"   
He slid his palm to turn your face to meet his eyes   
"What did he do? "   
"Nothing! It was my fault really"   
You said as you brushed away his hand to bend down to pack the box back up.   
"It doesnt look like nothing princess, talk to me"   
"Hey you know im not a kid anymore! Stop calling me that!" You said forcing a joking tone   
"Nah you're always gonna be our princess, princess."   
"Hey let me take that you look like your going to get eaten by it"   
He picked up the box without another word and headed to the roadside placing it down on the back of a truck.  
"Im assuming you're still too much of a pussy to get your license so ill fetch you"   
"Hey! Being on the road is dangerous.... but ill take it"   
You said pouting 

For a moment starrk felt time stop. You were even more beautiful now even without makeup. And the way your cheeks still flushed when you were embarrassed or angry was adorable as hell. What was going on with Grimmjow? How could he let go of you. He had moved because he was in love with you and he knew that wouldn't have gotten you over Grimmjow. But now seeing the solemn look in your eyes as you looked out the window when your eyes caught the wallpaper on your phone of Grimmjow smirking was making his blood boil.   
Pulling up the carpark of your dorm he turned to open the door when he noticed you had falling asleep.  
"Hey princess its time to wake up"  
"Urmf yeah sorry i kinda dozed off. Thanks alot for the lift! How long are you going to be in town for? Lets get coffee or lunch sometime"   
"If i can get the job probably till im old and grey"   
"What? Starrk coyote??? Sending in job applications? What did state hopping do to you!" You said giggling   
"Yeah yeah whatever princess" 

Grimmjow was thinking to himself "what kind of fucking idiot am i"   
He had practically dived behind another car when he had saw starrk pull up with you in the passenger seat.   
Seeing you giggling like that as you talked to him and the way starrk was moving your hair out of your face as the windblew was creating havoc in his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how was it? Please drop feedback!


	4. Chance?

Grimmjow was seething in anger. He had always lost to starrk ever since you were children.   
"Mommy can i please walk to school on my own?"   
"Honey you know why we don't let you walk on you own... its not safe you have to cross too many roads"   
"Don't worry Auntie! Shes got us" grimmjow had said with a messy smile.   
"Yeah! We wont let her walk by herself" a much smaller starrk said nodding with such conviction.  
Your mother nodded rather reluctantly citing that it would only work as long as you stuck with them and held hands   
"Nooooooo i wanna hold starrks hand, hes warmer!!" You exclaimed shaking your hand to get out of grimmjows grip 

It was always him on the losing end he had only won you over because starrk had broke out of his lazy habits during the last year of highschool to study his butt off to get into college. You had started spending alot more alone time together then. And when starrk moved away somehow he had won you over. But now it felt like everything was in vain because no matter what it seemed like starrk would always best him. 

Going up the steps to your dorm you felt the weight that had seem to lift when starrk was there come crashing back down. Especially when you took out your keys to unlock the door and saw a stupid keychain Grimmjow had gotten you a few months back. A gothic six that was a tribute to his jersey number on the football team. Stepping into the apartment again and being forced to see the polariods and silly photos you had pinned up on walls and the fridge was starting to cause tears to well up in your eyes again.   
A vibration from your pocket broke you out of your spiral to crying again. 

"We should talk." 

You paused...   
He had made his feelings clear why did he keep pestering you? Probably because he was horny. You were wearing down on your lips contemplating if you should reply when another message came in.  
"Dont forget lunch tomorrow ill come pick you up at 12 princess."   
Feeling a smile form onto your lips you decided not to reply Grimmjow perhaps it was better to leave some space between the both of you. You needed some happy in your life. 

Why the fuck was she not replying him again. Now that Starrk was here was he not even going to get to talk to her? Fuck that shit. Grimmjow thought to himself as he made his way to get more beer.   
"G. Whats good."   
A low voice called from behind him   
"Aye the fuck do you want im not in the mood"   
"I want to talk about her"   
"What did you do shes torn up as fuck G"   
"None of your business Ark stay out of my shit"   
"Your shit? Hah i knew i should have made her come with me. All you do is make her cry"   
"FUCK YOU. You dont know whats going on"   
"What else could it be? You ran your mouth and broke her heart. Your style aint new"   
That pissed him off a great lot. Because well it was true he always ran his mouth and he tended to get him deep shit most of the time.   
"I tried to talk to her. She wont pick up or reply me"   
He said softly running his hands through unruly blue hair.   
Starrk almost took a step back Grimmjow looked regretful despite how insane it sounded. It seemed like he had changed even if it wasn't alot.   
"Im meeting her for lunch tomorrow ill talk to her"   
"You will? Or are you going to take her from me? Dont fuck me over i saw the look you gave her yesterday im not dumb ark"   
"We're brothers arent we? Trust me. Ill do my best but if she aint for it... then shes mine."  
Grimmjow was clenching his hands so hard he could feel his nails starting to dig too deeply into his palms. He took a deep breathe and walked away. Would you give him another chance? After what he did? It wasnt your first fight but it sure felt like it was going to be your last if he couldn't put things right. 

Lighting a cigarette stark looked up from where he was sat and pondered. He loved the both of you you had been each others support in a shitty neighbourhood for years. The three of you had always been the closest. But he couldn't help but feel that he had a real chance now.


	5. Hmm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit had she seen them? Fuck

You were unbelievably happy as you and Starrk walked around the plaza after lunch. You were pointing out side stalls that sold delicious food and cute trinkets as the both of you chatted happily.   
Slowly with his hand on your back gently guiding you he led you to a bench.   
"Soooo you wanna tell me what happened?"   
You stared silently at the scenery contemplating if you should tell him how you had been feeling.   
"I-I dont know, things were good. I mean I thought they were. But i just dont think that Blue really loves me..."   
"I heard him say it, he just needs me for my body."   
You swallowed thickly and continued   
"You know hes never said i love you back, not once"   
Starrk moved his hand to caress your cheek   
"I promise you he loves you Princess, you and i both know hes not good at expressing himself-"  
"You don't get it i heard him. I literally heard him say it. I tried talking to him and he just shut me down."  
"I cant keep doing this, being the only one that actually cares."   
Suddenly Starrk gripped your shoulder and turned you to face him "he loves you, i swear it on our friendship princess he really does. Hes just too full of ego to express it properly so he ran his mouth just like he always does."   
You were shocked at the serious tone he had taken. "I-i want to believe me but you don't understand how badly it hurts.... i love him so much and i just always feel like a side piece "   
Starrk simply took you into his arms to comfort you "just give him one last chance "   
You swallowed thickly biting back your tears "okay, but this is the last one"   
"Thank you princess" he said gently as he leaned down to kiss your forehead   
"hey! What was that for"   
"Heh you looked cute thats all" 

-2 days later-   
Grimmjow was walking up and down the workshop waiting for a reply ANY reply from you. It taken him the entire morning to come up with what to say   
"Hey doll can we talk? We can meet at your favourite cafe?"   
No no NO thats lame fucking man up   
"Hey im taking you out to talk"   
Was that too forceful? He had to be softer right?   
"Cafe 4pm you know which one"   
That gets the message across right? Simple and to the point and it didn't sound like clingy? FUCK he really hope it didn't. 

Unbeknownst to him you were practically giggling seeing the messages come in before getting deleted a second later. You had thought long and hard about it and if things really didn't work out you wanted to end things on a peaceful note. Seeing him struggling however was nonetheless entertaining.   
"Sure" 

????? What the fuck did she mean "sure"? Had she? No don't tell him she had been seeing everything he had sent and deleted. He was so embarrassed.   
"Yes i saw them"   
Ah fuck so she did it. He felt the tips of his ears go hot before burying his face in his hands. Well he might have embarrassed himself but at least he got to meet up with her again.   
"I just want you to know i still love you blue, even if you don't love me back ill always love you. If things don't work out tomorrow please let us end it peacefully. I can't lose you"   
He clenched his fist tightly enough to hurt, the fact that she had sent something like that was fucking with him badly.   
"I"   
"I love you too doll"   
There he did it l.  
He actually fucking did it.   
He threw his phone to the table and started packing up so could go get ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow that was a LONG ass wait lmao sorry but im back and will do my best to continue! I actually lost the notebook i used to sort of plan out everything for this story so im a little lost now. I hope you enjoyed as usual please comment on areas where i can improve!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is my first fanfic because im a angst fanatic so lmk if its any good!


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